Moral Force
Greetings All,
It is the end of April which means we are 1/3 of the
way of 2014. Where did the months
go? One of my favorite times of the year
is Spring, especially in Provo. The
trees are all in blossom, snow is melting and water running down from the
mountains. Yesterday it rained, and
rained and rained. Today I walked out
and notice it considerably cooler, look up at the mountains and there is snow
that was not there the day before.
Spring time in Provo....LOVE IT!
This week I came across a quote by Dr. Joyce Brothers,
"The best proof of love is trust." I don't know if anything has hit
me as hard as those words did, "love" and "trust" used
together. Yet when I tried to write
about it, I seemed to have a block as though part of something was missing. I
couldn't put my finger on it. Then today
in Relief Society we had a lesson on "Moral Force." One of the first questions asked was
"What exactly does Moral Force" mean?
I think for all of us we could give different definitions depending on
what our values are and what we find is acceptable and not acceptable. Because this is our woman's group at church,
we focused on women and who were our influences. I immediately thought of one
woman.
Like any young woman she was anxious
to start her family. She learned that
her first two children were deaf and counseled by doctors not to have any more
children and to place the two deaf ones in an institution. She would not hear of it. Instead she got the materials needed and she
studied and became learned in the field of "Deafness" that she taught
her two sons at home how to sign, and how to TALK! And she went on to have seven more children!!
I often think of this and wonder what I would have done in her situation? Would
I have had the same courage and convictions she did? The same faith that she did to put all her
love in these two boys that they would trust her and beat the odds.
Her and her husband believed very much in FAMILY. They determined they were a family
first. They began early instilling in
their children the values of hard work. Not
only for their two oldest, but also for the other seven. This would be a
valuable trait as they would have to put in many hours of practice to perfect
their musical talents. Even as they grew
in popularity in their music world wide, they maintained true to their values
and beliefs, both them and their children. They believed in their FAITH and
LIVED it!! Their children not only
learned from their parents, but they were also able to share what they knew by
simply LIVING BY EXAMPLE! Even amazing
is over 50 years later, they still hold true to their faith, values and
family. I believe it was because of the
love and trust they had in their parents, especially their mother. When I think
of "Moral Force" I think of Olive Osmond. She was not a pulpit pounding sounding voice
of preaching, but her "moral force" was simply living what she taught. She was not
afraid to show it and not afraid to stand up for what she felt was wrong.
Often times in my life I have thought back to a time
when I struggled. There are two
different sets of words I hear. One is "You are old enough to take care
of yourself! Grow up!" I spent alot of time in tears when I think of
those words. I didn't understand if I was old enough to take care of myself,
why I couldn't. But lately when I
struggle and I want some advice I hear the words, "This too shall
pass." Olive's son Jay taught me
these words. I used to laugh and think
it was a joke. Now I know when those
storms hit, I go back to the basics of what I know with all certainty and hold
on weathering the storm. And guess
what? The storm does pass. Which ones do
you think truly helped me?
I don't know about anyone else but I do much better
when someone is kind and loving and patient to me rather than forceful and
hurtful...even with the best intentions.
I think back to a time when I returned to Utah and had someone say
something that I never expected and was very hurtful to me. I loved them so much and yet that day I felt
so betrayed. I was grateful for my friend Nancy and her insight to call me as I
sat in my truck, had a prayer and let the tears flow. After her few words I knew I was going to be
okay and guess what? I was!
This all leads me to the quote from Dr. Brothers, "The
best proof of love is trust." I often think of my mom. On one hand I know she was only doing what
she felt was best. And I know what
others say, those who have been hurt, hurt others. I don't hate my mom, I just think I have a
different kind of love than most others do for their mothers. I have a love for her, but it has always
bothered me as much as I try I do not have the same greater love I have for
others. I know I should but try as I can, it doesn't come. And until this quote I never understood why.
It is that trust I lack. I never had that.
How do I get that now?
I never met Olive, but I did get to know one of her posterity. Simply because of the example she set and her
children set I gained a great deal of love for them and I believe it was all
because I learned to trust them. I may not have always understood, but I
learned to trust them. In my own life
when I was beat up by the bullies when I was 7 and told I was old enough to
take care of myself I believed my mom.
When I was told I was dumb and stupid I believed my family. When I was told I was an animal I believed
people. When that trust was broken, it
is hard to have trust again and to learn to love others, especially those that
have broken it.
I have tried to live my life differently than what I
knew growing up. I believe those that I
have come to trust (as much as I can) I do truly love. They had no moral obligation towards me, and
didn't even have to be my friend, but they did and whether they know it or not
influenced me with their "moral force." My friends Rick and Connie who told me they
loved for the first time I ever remember someone telling me that. They will
never know the impact that would have on my life. My friend Jody and the constant service she
had done in her life for others. Service
doesn't have to be a sad thing, just something that makes you feel good to want
to do more. I added service to my life because of Jody. My friend Sharyl and her influence on me as a
child in going to church. As much as she
tried to love me I didn't know what love was and I feel I probably pushed her
away. She was one of the few I could open up to in my later years about my mom
and seemed to understand. She was there
and witnessed part of it, and did not tell me to toughen up. Instead she
encouraged me and told me things I would have wanted to hear from my own
mother.
One of the reasons I do these newsletters is more for
my benefit than anything, There was a
time in my life when I had so much negativity in it and I did not want to go
back down that path I had come. I needed
to keep moving forward. So I started this newsletter. It makes me smile when I
get an email telling me "this is just what I needed this week." I hope it makes you think of the kind of
footprints and legacy you are leaving behind.
I can tell you change is not easy, but neither is living in misery. The only true happiness I have ever found was
truly trying to be that "moral force." For me it means to serve others, to be kind
and to be obedient. When I do those
things, the storms will come and go, but I know I can withstand any force. I challenge each of you to look at your lives
this week and see what it is you can do to be that "moral force". It may be something as simple as bringing a
bit of joy into a life, reaching out to a neighbor, giving someone a hug that
does not get them often...and then please share!!
Hoping you all have a great week!! Love you all Laura
PS A Special thank you to Ariel Henry for the
inspiration for the newsletter this week!
