Are You Ready?
I often think of when I was younger and was told we need to
shape our lives like a square. I always
thought a square was BORING! Now I see
the wisdom in it. A square has four evenly straight sides. You can lay it on
any one of its sides and know it will be balanced. I know we all want our lives
to be “balanced” and sometimes it is hard to even know where to start on
it. We all want good health, be
financially and emotionally stable, and always seem to strive to find ways to
be closer to God. I like to think of the
four sides as being physically, financially, emotionally and spiritually
balanced. As I get later in my years I
see this more and more every day. I have
failed miserably at these for the most of my life but in other ways I have overcome
great strides to get to where I am today so I can really focus in on these
things.
Physically I believe I will get there. It is one of the goals I am working on this
year. I have had tests after tests run and it all comes back the same, there is
nothing wrong with me. I know there
is. The other day I realized my legs
were cold compared to the rest of my body even though I had a blanket over my
legs and the heater on nearby. I decided
to Google it and there were a few answers but one caught my attention “low
thyroid.” I have had my thyroid checked
several times and there is never anything wrong. This has led me to believe differently. I have trusted doctors and sometimes they
don’t know the answers.
This week I was reminded of this because a family at church
has a son who has seizures. He was a
normal kid until the time he was 14 (he’s now 21) when he started having
seizures, he quickly went from that normal kid to not being able to find his
locker at school or remember other every day occurrences. Some things he has not forgotten like how to
run!! And he is fast!! I have been on
some of those hunting parties in trying to find him. Doctors in the last seven years have never
been able to find out what is causing Christopher’s seizures. This week he went to turn off a light switch,
had a seizure, fell down the steps, hit his head and ended up in ICU. Horrible!!
But at the same time there are now a couple of neurological doctors who
“think” they know what is going on.
Maybe these years of prayers will be answered. I can tell you that there is no better or
more suitable family for Christopher to be in than the one he is in. Their loves astounds me when I watch them
together.
So like Christopher on my journey, I have found things that
seem to help my lymphedema, energy etc.
It is not your standard medical procedures or recommendations, but
little by little they seem to work for me.
When people tell me “But everything has sugar you can’t leave it alone”
I have to say “Ha ha watch me!” Same
with Gluten and soda….they are my biggest nemesis and all are tied into
Arthritis. If I can get my arthritis
better, I can go walking again.
Financially is one of those things I feel I have
failed miserably in so many ways, but yet I am in awe that I was able to
survive as I did with none or little income as long as I did. Truly blessed!! I have to remember the difference between my
wants and my needs. One of the things we
are constantly told is “live within your means.” It doesn’t matter if I can only put $5 a
month into savings, as long as I save some I will be beating the odds. Just like everything else in life, finances
need a plan and a path to take. How many
times do I go to the store with no list?
I think of the few things in my mind I need to get—who needs a list for
just a few things right? Guess what
happens? I come out of the store with
much more than I planned and usually always forget one or two items on the
mental list. That is going to change!!
Emotionally I see great strides and then I break
down and I feel I am back to that little girl again. SIGH. Usually it is a comment that triggers me and the tears
begin. With that comment and tears
harsher words are thrown my way. I
remember at Thanksgiving when someone innocently was asking me what I was doing
for Thanksgiving. In the midst of the
conversation I mentioned it was my birthday and Thanksgiving was a hard time
for me. The words came, “Well you were
born weren’t you? Then you have a
family.” It has stayed with me because
they will never know the other side of that statement.
Spiritually I know I have come far, and still
have far to go. I remember back to
January of 2010 when I walked into church for the first time in many many years
and the events that transpired me to get there and here today. The lady I lived with at the time took the
Lord’s name in vain way too often for me.
I know it doesn’t bother most because it is part of our culture, but it
did me. As time went on I began to see
her way of life and mine were not the same. Her language was just a small part
of it. I had nowhere else to turn but
back to Christ. So I took my first step
and went back to church. I know, what
some of you may be thinking. You don’t
need a “church” to believe in God. I have taken that route as well. I used to go for a drive every Sunday morning
to the mountains. It gave me a peace I
could not get anywhere else, but at the same time I knew something was missing,
I just wasn’t sure what. Or maybe and I
did not want to admit the “what.”
I think part of being “spiritually prepared” is being
obedient. For me that means going to
church on Sunday, taking the sacrament, renewing my covenants that I am taking
upon me the name of Christ and truly trying to treat others the way He
would. It also helps me recharge my
batteries for the week.
It doesn’t matter what side of the box I am working on I know
I must keep working on all sides. It’s
been odd but ever there is a song thatgoes through my mind and makes me stop
and reflect upon the words. I first
heard this song in the 70’s on the Donny and Marie Show. It is called “When He Comes Again”. It is the second verse that caught my
attention and goes through my mind at least a few times a day.
I wonder,
when he comes again,Will I be ready there
To look upon
his loving face, And join with him in prayer?
Each day I'll
try to do his will, And let my light so shine
That others
seeing me may seek, For greater light divine.
Then, when that
blessed day is here,He'll love me and he'll say,
"You've
served me well, my little child;Come unto my arms to stay."
This is what
I live for everyday; to return home one day and be told "You've served me
well, my little child;
Come unto my
arms to stay." I hope that by actions and trying to soften my heart, and
do what I believe to be right I can live up to this way. They are not just words; they are how I try
to live my life every day.
I
hope you all have a wonderful week and stay warm!!! Love you all….Laura
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