Unanswered Prayers?Greetings All,
What an interesting week. It started off with BYU in the WCC Conference, making it to the championship game, to friends coming in and more friends next week. It has been a good week for the most part. You put aside the health issues and it hasn't been bad. Thursday I got into a conversation with a friend that has really gotten me thinking about life lately. I know what is new!!!
There have been many many times in my life when sometimes life seems unbearable. When I am down and sad, there have been times I try to call someone or talk to someone but they do not have the time. There are other times when I have exciting news and I try to call someone and cannot get them or we spend just a few minutes and then we are off in our own directions again. So sometimes life just gets lonely and hard. Many times I wished I had someone to share all these things with because that is what life is suppose to be.
Thursday I got into a conversation with a friend that took me back to my younger years and how a few times I was told to just get married so I wouldn't have to be alone. Trust me when I say the thought had crossed my mind a time or two. I remember a guy I met in 2002. We met at school and he seemed like a nice guy. We seemed to have gotten along well. He was a member of the LDS Church, but not very active and so we seemed to fit well. I think I always had the mentality if the basics were there you could perfect the person to who YOU would want them to become. That (we all know) is not right or doable. When I look back, I laugh and am grateful things didn't work outl Our first date was to a movie, the second date he asked me to go the junk yard and help him find a car part, and the third time he wanted me to go east and drive a truck with him. True story!!
So I have thought of this during the week. Earlier in the week I was listening to the BYU game. I love my Cougars. Like everyone else I would rather see them win than lose. We have to remember no one (I don't think) gets up and says, "Today I am going to be a loser!" Most of the people I know go out and try to do their best and sometimes their best does not put enough points on the scoreboard for the day. On Monday BYU had fallen behind by 12 points and yes they should have been ahead and won the game way before the OT. But the game went into OT and BYU pulled ahead and made it to the championship game playing Gonzaga. BYU lost to Gonzaga. But I think the thing that was worse than losing to Gonzaga were the announcers who kept bringing up the shortfalls of BYU from the night earlier. It poured over into the Gonzaga game and they seemed to have all the answers as to how make the team up to their standards to win the game. To me there were some very negative remarks made when they were losing on both nights. My first thought was, there are children listening who look up to these two...what kind of an example is that?
The basics for having a championship winning basketball team was there. But there are going to be some days they struggle and not all is going to go their way. They did their best and were able to get a win on Monday but on Tuesday fell short. I am so confused as to how being negative to someone (and the team could not even hear them!) is going to help someone turn their game around and win??? I know when negative comments are said to me, they don't encourage me in any way. I was still very proud of them. They played hard on Monday in order to play in that championship game. To some they may have been losers, but to me they were BIG WINNERS!!
In talking with a friend this past week, she mentioned she was celebrating her 10th anniversary. My friend shared with me that this was both of their 4th marriages. She has told me some about her marriages. She was a young mother with children to raise and she often did the best she could. But there were those men who beat her or abused her, cheated on her etc. She went on to tell me when she met her current husband he was a heavy drinker and she went to church every Sunday and to the temple. I asked her what was it that made her go out with him and eventually marry. She said "I just saw something in him." Today her husband has stopped his drinking and is very good to my friend. She said he is probably the first one who has really loved her, both physically and emotionally. And she specified physically as in holding, cuddling, hand holding etc. I thought it was interesting because it made me think back again.
In some cases it made me think of the way people love us. One friend for him it was buying dinners and I usually came in as a last resort. He did not want to be alone, I was called when there was no one else. Was it heartbreaking? Yes. But in the end I think I saved myself from a greater heartbreak in life. There was another guy I met when I first joined the church. We dated off and on for a couple of years. Looking back now I see how wise he was not me.
I kept my hand in his life off and on for a while. I also worked with his cousin so I always got the scoop and knew when I needed to go stir the pot a bit. (And you all thought I was this angel! Ha ha) When his cousin told me one day he was engaged I laughed, because it was to his ex-fiancé. I believed if I was patient enough he would come around. Shortly afterwards she told me that he had met someone. I thought to myself, "Brother when is he EVER going to learn!?" When she told me they had gone out every night for two weeks I decided it was time to stir that pot. That Sunday I went to his ward and as I walked in three ladies grabbed me and took me into an empty classroom to tell me "He's engaged!" I thought "What?" He had only known her for two weeks and instantly I thought, this won't last. In Relief Society his mom introduced his fiancé, and after the gasps of breath and everyone looking at me I could only manage a fake smile. My heart dropped. I could tell by looking at her they were meant to be together. They looked alike.
Next was Sunday school and it was the same thing. Gasps of air, everyone looking at me. Somehow I managed to sit there politely and pretend it was all okay. The last meeting was Sacrament Meeting and once again the announcement was made and the gasps of air and stares fell my way. By this time I wanted to just crawl under a chair and hide. Somehow I managed to sit through the service, but when it was over I was determined to be the first one out of the chapel. I wasn't. As I came out of the chapel he stood there and said, "We need to talk."
I simply said, "I hear congratulations are in order."
From there he pulled me into a corner and told me something I have never forgotten. I have often thought of his words throughout my life and I will admit most of the time tried to forget them. But I have learned more and more how I needed to hear those words as a reminder to me about this life and the importance of finding that right companion. Now I know you are all sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear what he told me, but I cannot tell you. I have never told anyone else. Recently I realized why. Because I feel when I hear these words I will know I have met my companion. I know it sounds crazy doesn't it. I was sharing this story with a friend this week (see told you it was on my mind all week) and I said I felt like Rumplestilskin. His response was "Who was Rumplestilsksin?" Ha ha
Our journeys are not the same. Just because we all go to the same place does not mean we all choose the same or end up with the same results. I am reminded of a story I was told when I moved to Nashville. An apartment manager was telling me about some young newly high school graduating boys who has just moved to Nashville from East Tennessee. First time on their own. After the parents had left they all piled into a car and headed off to the grocery store. None of them had ever been grocery shopping before. They weren't quite sure what to do. They watched a lady come in with her kids and they decided to get whatever she got. NO LIE!!! They followed her around the store and whatever she bought they bought including feminine products and diapers! They got home and they had no idea what they bought!! Finally one of the guys got enough courage and took some products over to the apartment manager and asked if she could tell them what they were for. Yes he had taken the feminine products and the diapers. She very patiently went back to their apartment and got the story of how they followed the lady and got everything she got. She asked if any of them could cook. No. She got them a cook book and one of the guys took on the cooking responsibility. He was getting pretty good, he even brought her brownies one day.
We all come to this earth, all have different passions and loves but the paths we get there are so different. BYU has ended up in the NCAA Tournament. How far they will go we shall see. If they don't make it past the first round it is okay, they are still part of my journey and I will always love my Cougars!! This week some friends from Texas stopped in Provo and I got to see then. It was when I was in Texas and in their ward my life completely changed. My passion on this earth if family history, and my mission on this earth is to gather my friends and family and bring them, because I said I could. For the guys who have come in and out of my life I will be grateful for what they taught me. But I am most grateful for those unanswered prayers. I am reminded of how sometimes our hardest trials are our greatest blessings.
In the end I see now how the relationships would not have worked, but one day they will. Just as much as I need fit into their life missions they need to fit into mine. This week I am pretty content and satisfied with life. I think back to all those unanswered prayers. Would it have made life easier? I don't think so, I think it would have been harder. Hope you all have a wonderful week and here are few pictures of me and the Wilding Family!! Love them!! And love you all!! Hugs Laura