Unanswered Prayers?
Greetings All,
What an interesting
week. It started off with BYU in the WCC
Conference, making it to the championship game, to friends coming in and more
friends next week. It has been a good
week for the most part. You put aside the health issues and it hasn't
been bad. Thursday I got into a
conversation with a friend that has really gotten me thinking about life
lately. I know what is new!!!
There have
been many many times in my life when sometimes life seems unbearable. When I am down and sad, there have been times
I try to call someone or talk to someone but they do not have the time. There are other times when I have exciting
news and I try to call someone and cannot get them or we spend just a few
minutes and then we are off in our own directions again. So sometimes life just gets lonely and hard. Many times I wished I had someone to share
all these things with because that is what life is suppose to be.
Thursday I
got into a conversation with a friend that took me back to my younger years and
how a few times I was told to just get married so I wouldn't have to be
alone. Trust me when I say the thought
had crossed my mind a time or two. I
remember a guy I met in 2002. We met at
school and he seemed like a nice guy. We seemed to have gotten along well. He was a member of the LDS Church, but not
very active and so we seemed to fit well.
I think I always had the mentality if the basics were there you could
perfect the person to who YOU would want them to become. That (we all know) is not right or doable. When
I look back, I laugh and am grateful things didn't work outl Our first date was to a movie, the second
date he asked me to go the junk yard and help him find a car part, and the
third time he wanted me to go east and drive a truck with him. True story!!
So I have
thought of this during the week. Earlier
in the week I was listening to the BYU game.
I love my Cougars. Like everyone
else I would rather see them win than lose. We have to remember no one (I don't
think) gets up and says, "Today I am going to be a loser!" Most of the people I know go out and try to
do their best and sometimes their best does not put enough points on the
scoreboard for the day. On Monday BYU had
fallen behind by 12 points and yes they should have been ahead and won the game
way before the OT. But the game went
into OT and BYU pulled ahead and made it to the championship game playing
Gonzaga. BYU lost to Gonzaga. But I think the thing that was worse than
losing to Gonzaga were the announcers who kept bringing up the shortfalls of
BYU from the night earlier. It poured
over into the Gonzaga game and they seemed to have all the answers as to how
make the team up to their standards to win the game. To me there were some very negative remarks
made when they were losing on both nights.
My first thought was, there are children listening who look up to these
two...what kind of an example is that?
The basics
for having a championship winning basketball team was there. But there are
going to be some days they struggle and not all is going to go their way. They did their best and were able to get a
win on Monday but on Tuesday fell short.
I am so confused as to how being negative to someone (and the team could
not even hear them!) is going to help someone turn their game around and
win??? I know when negative comments are
said to me, they don't encourage me in any way.
I was still very proud of them.
They played hard on Monday in order to play in that championship
game. To some they may have been losers,
but to me they were BIG WINNERS!!
In talking
with a friend this past week, she mentioned she was celebrating her 10th
anniversary. My friend shared with me
that this was both of their 4th marriages.
She has told me some about her marriages. She was a young mother with children to raise
and she often did the best she could.
But there were those men who beat her or abused her, cheated on her
etc. She went on to tell me when she met
her current husband he was a heavy drinker and she went to church every Sunday
and to the temple. I asked her what was
it that made her go out with him and eventually marry. She said "I just saw something in
him." Today her husband has stopped
his drinking and is very good to my friend.
She said he is probably the first one who has really loved her, both
physically and emotionally. And she
specified physically as in holding, cuddling, hand holding etc. I thought it
was interesting because it made me think back again.
In some cases
it made me think of the way people love us.
One friend for him it was buying dinners and I usually came in as a last
resort. He did not want to be alone, I
was called when there was no one else.
Was it heartbreaking? Yes. But in the end I think I saved myself from a
greater heartbreak in life. There was another
guy I met when I first joined the church.
We dated off and on for a couple of years. Looking back now I see how wise he was not me.
I kept my
hand in his life off and on for a while.
I also worked with his cousin so I always got the scoop and knew when I
needed to go stir the pot a bit. (And
you all thought I was this angel! Ha
ha) When his cousin told me one day he
was engaged I laughed, because it was to
his ex-fiancé. I believed if I was patient enough he would
come around. Shortly afterwards she told
me that he had met someone. I thought to
myself, "Brother when is he EVER going to learn!?" When she told me they had gone out every
night for two weeks I decided it was time to stir that pot. That Sunday I went to his ward and as I walked
in three ladies grabbed me and took me into an empty classroom to tell me
"He's engaged!" I thought
"What?" He had only known her
for two weeks and instantly I thought, this won't last. In Relief Society his mom introduced his
fiancé, and after the gasps of breath and everyone looking at me I could only
manage a fake smile. My heart
dropped. I could tell by looking at her
they were meant to be together. They
looked alike.
Next was
Sunday school and it was the same thing.
Gasps of air, everyone looking at me.
Somehow I managed to sit there politely and pretend it was all
okay. The last meeting was Sacrament
Meeting and once again the announcement was made and the gasps of air and
stares fell my way. By this time I
wanted to just crawl under a chair and hide.
Somehow I managed to sit through the service, but when it was over I was
determined to be the first one out of the chapel. I wasn't.
As I came out of the chapel he stood there and said, "We need to
talk."
I simply
said, "I hear congratulations are in order."
From there he
pulled me into a corner and told me something I have never forgotten. I have often thought of his words throughout
my life and I will admit most of the time tried to forget them. But I have learned more and more how I needed
to hear those words as a reminder to me about this life and the importance of
finding that right companion. Now I know
you are all sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear what he told me, but I
cannot tell you. I have never told
anyone else. Recently I realized why. Because I feel when I hear these words I will
know I have met my companion. I know it
sounds crazy doesn't it. I was sharing
this story with a friend this week (see told you it was on my mind all week)
and I said I felt like Rumplestilskin.
His response was "Who was Rumplestilsksin?" Ha ha
Our journeys
are not the same. Just because we all go
to the same place does not mean we all choose the same or end up with the same
results. I am reminded of a story I was
told when I moved to Nashville. An apartment
manager was telling me about some young newly high school graduating boys who
has just moved to Nashville from East Tennessee. First time on their own. After the parents had left they all piled
into a car and headed off to the grocery store.
None of them had ever been grocery shopping before. They weren't quite sure what to do. They watched a lady come in with her kids and
they decided to get whatever she got. NO
LIE!!! They followed her around the
store and whatever she bought they bought including feminine products and
diapers! They got home and they had no
idea what they bought!! Finally one of
the guys got enough courage and took some products over to the apartment
manager and asked if she could tell them what they were for. Yes he had taken the feminine products and
the diapers. She very patiently went
back to their apartment and got the story of how they followed the lady and got
everything she got. She asked if any of
them could cook. No. She got them a cook book and one of the guys took
on the cooking responsibility. He was
getting pretty good, he even brought her brownies one day.
We all come
to this earth, all have different passions and loves but the paths we get there
are so different. BYU has ended up in
the NCAA Tournament. How far they will
go we shall see. If they don't make it
past the first round it is okay, they are still part of my journey and I will
always love my Cougars!! This week some
friends from Texas stopped in Provo and I got to see then. It was when I was in Texas and in their ward
my life completely changed. My passion
on this earth if family history, and my mission on this earth is to gather my
friends and family and bring them, because I said I could. For the guys who have come in and out of my
life I will be grateful for what they taught me. But I am most grateful for those unanswered
prayers. I am reminded of how sometimes our hardest trials are our greatest
blessings.
In the end I
see now how the relationships would not have worked, but one day they
will. Just as much as I need fit into
their life missions they need to fit into mine.
This week I am pretty content and satisfied with life. I think back to
all those unanswered prayers. Would it
have made life easier? I don't think so,
I think it would have been harder. Hope
you all have a wonderful week and here are few pictures of me and the Wilding
Family!! Love them!! And love you
all!! Hugs Laura
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