Can We Become One?
Greetings Everyone,
I hope this
New Year is finding you happy, healthy and on your way to a great 2014!!! I cannot complain! It doesn’t mean I have met all my goals it
just means I feel so blessed in my life.
First let me just say THANK YOU to all those who write and share their
personal stories of something that was written about in a newsletter. I will be honest and say one of the reasons I
started it was because I needed something positive in my life. It seemed for a while life was just caving in
on me and there was so much negativeness I had to counteract it; so thank you
for indulging me and letting me do this every week with all of you!
I never know
when something will pop into my head and I KNOW that is what my newsletter
needs to be about, and today was one of those days where it popped into me head
and I KNEW!! I saw a video on Facebook
today and usually I don’t watch many of them; but this one caught my attention.
It simply said, “How do you serve someone who has wronged you?” The 12 minute video is worth watching (there
is a link at the end of the newsletter.)
There are basically two things I want to do this year, get healthy and
try and forgive those who have pained and grieved me so much. As far as I have come, I know I still hold a
lot of the pain and grudges inside.
I recently
saw a quote on forgiveness that said, “forgiveness is not earned it is
given.” I have thought about that a lot
this past week. The people I need to
forgive me are no longer on this earth and I keep telling myself “why should I
forgive them? I didn’t do anything
wrong?” I feel so betrayed by them. They were supposed to protect me and love me
and they didn’t. And yet I am expected to serve them and forgive them. It’s
hard. I have been given so much in my
life and I know this is my responsibility to do, but it doesn’t make it
easy.
So back to
the video mentioned above. I cannot
imagine or fathom what went on during the WW in Germany and Europe. I have read accounts of those who lived the
nightmare and somehow they managed to fight their way out and survive. I remember a lady I worked with years ago
where the word “diet” sent her into a rampage.
She was in Germany during the war and knew what it was like to go
hungry. But I did not understand. Today this video taught me much.
Please watch
the video as it tells the story so much better than I ever could. But it came down to during the war people
felt betrayed; by their own government, family, neighbors etc. How do you forgive someone who has betrayed
you and made you suffer so much? You
serve them. The Mission President at the
time had to find a way to distribute welfare to the people as well as find a
way to rebuild that trust and unity. Food
was scarce. Can you imagine the only
thing you want for your 17th birthday is a day without being
hungry? Somehow this mission president
convinced the Netherlands government to let them plant potatoes. There were plenty of potatoes for planting,
but for eating they would need to be rationed. In Germany people were far worse
off than the Netherlands and become at odds against them for mistrust and
betrayal during the war. How do you feed
the people, regain their trust and unite them?
With the Dutch Potato Project of course!! You have to watch the video!!
I got to
thinking about this story and my own life; the betrayal and my own potato
story. I ended up eating potatoes for months because a teacher I trusted
betrayed me. The things I learned from that time are valuable lessons to me
later in life. I think of my friend who
bought three hotdogs and gave me two.
Funny thing even though there were differences down the road, I don’t
feel a grudge against her. I just feel it was the circumstances in her life at
the time and there is nothing I can do about it. But my parents were different. Parents are expected to protect you and love
you. What happens when that doesn’t
happen? Then what do you do?
I know there
are ways I can serve them today, and yet I drag my feet; and I know by doing it
I will lose my hurt and pain toward them.
Then why don’t I do it? I don’t
know, except I just feel it is still me against them. When I look at families I see how they work
together and I don’t see that with them.
It is the whole “there is no ‘I’ in team” concept. But what I think I must do now is to work on
becoming one with them. I can’t change
what they did. Maybe it is the pain I
have towards other members of my family.
Maybe it is no matter what I do it will never be good enough, they will
always find fault. I have heard many
times in my life, “you need to just let go.”
You can’t just let go there is another step I am missing somewhere.
I think with
this video today it strengthened my feelings toward service. When I first became to overcome a lot of my
anger and frustration habits and tantrums I did it through service. A lot of times it came from doing family
history. It gives me great comfort
working on my genealogy. But I know more
than anything my heart changed. I no
longer let words or actions get to me (as much). When I hear their words sometimes and the
critiques I will analyze them and decide for myself if it is something I may
need to work on or if there was some justification on their own part in saying
the words they did.
Recently I
had someone tell me I was “prideful”. I
was glad when we were interrupted so I did not have to hear her comments. As I drove home I stopped to think about her
comment. I know where it was coming
from. I have a hard time letting people
help me and therefore I was being labeled as “prideful”. But for me, I knew I could survive and I
would be okay and there were others who needed help more than me. So I don’t see myself as prideful but someone
who strives to be self-sufficient. And
if I can do it why not? I decided to
look up “prideful” in the dictionary was this definition: having or showing arrogant superiority. I sure hope I do not do that and don’t
believe I do!
But going back
to the video and being one, what can we do to become one? What can we do to become one with those who
have done us wrong that we may be forgiven and forgive them? For me it needs to start with my
parents. There are good stories I have,
but I tell the bad ones because it brings more justification to my cause (I
think). I remember a Dad who used to
take me fishing on the Gulf of Mexico and have fishing contests with me and let
me win. I remember a mom who worked hard
to provide a roof and a meal on the table for us, and sometimes that was all she
could do. But she did it alone with no
husband.
I think
where the translation gets lost of being one is that frustration and betrayal sets
in and it seems hopeless. Nothing is
ever hopeless. I truly believe the
actions we have on this earth we will take to the other side and be with those
of the same actions. That is why I try
and work so hard to change. I love being
with people how inspire me and lift me up.
That is who I want to be with on the other side. I believe the only way we can do that is by
starting now and trying to become one with our Father in Heaven. Can you
imagine what our lives would be like if we all worked at becoming one? That
means service, kindness, love, tolerance, teaching and finding the way to
becoming one.
I hope you
all have a wonderful week!!! It has been
snowy and cold here in Provo but I know Spring is coming!!! Woo Hoo!!!
And so I won’t forget here is a link to the video! That We Might Be One
Love Always
Laura
No comments:
Post a Comment